In Singapore, from where I happen to be writing this, you cannot miss their presence. Exquisitely dressed and coiffed ladies of leisure, married to wealthy men, who spend all their time shopping at high-end stores, going to salons for manicures and massages, and their leisurely afternoons at expensive cafes and restaurants, in the company of others like them.
Here they are known as ‘Tai Tais’, a term used both respectfully to connote a wealthy married lady and sometimes pejoratively to describe a person who doesn’t work and lives a life devoted to their own leisure and pleasure.
According to Singaporean lore, a Tai Tai is a celebrated and aspirational entity, in many ways responsible for driving the economy: by eschewing housework and employing a battery of household staff to cater to her needs and those of her family; by constantly updating her knowledge and patronage of the best places to shop, eat and holiday; by frequenting spas and beauty parlours; and by shopping round the clock for an assortment of luxury clothes, shoes, and accessories.
Given the economic boom that the island state is experiencing, Tai Tais are emblematic of the runaway consumerism of the region, the very crest of its success; but of course, they are not so different from the celebrated ‘ladies who lunch’ ‘socialites’ or ‘hostesses with the mostest’ of London, Paris, New York and other capitals across the globe.
Indeed, in most developed nations, where people have disposable incomes, the syndrome of women who occupy a commanding perch in high society is well established.
In earlier times across Europe and in England, socialites were primarily related to aristocracy and nobility, but with the advent of popular media, especially television, the ubiquity of glamorous women who capture the public imagination- not for anything they do or say, but just for being who they are and how they look has emerged, along with the term that best describes this phenomenon: ‘famous for being famous’; what is interesting is how such women are perceived in different times and contexts. As in all things, the way women are regarded, says a lot about the time and the place they live in.
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For a long time, women who lived privileged lives dedicated to genteel hedonism have been seen as soft targets, easy to caricaturise as vacuous and superficial. After fighting for their rights for equal opportunities in employment and education, women who had the choice to, but did not opt to work, were seen as somewhat regressive, selfish, and self-absorbed, and were at the receiving end of societal censure.
None has done this better-or with more empathy and poignancy -than Stephen Sondheim with his song ‘Ladies who Lunch’ in the Broadway Musical Company (1970), which brought out the pathos of their situation with lines like ‘Here’s to the ladies who lunch/everybody laugh/lounging in their caftans, and planning a brunch/on their own behalf…’ delivered with so much underlying irony and rage by actress Elaine Stritch in the original production. Sondheim of course was referring to a more middle-aged version of the syndrome, whose pampered life, beset with boredom and purposelessness was already on the skids.
But it is interesting to note that the descendants of the ‘ladies who lunch’ parodied by him then, women who came to symbolise the zeitgeist, like Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, and Kim Kardashian have not been appendages to wealthy men, but in fact, have turned the tables on the trope and made it work for them, establishing vast empires of influence and wealth as a consequence in their own rights. Indeed, in the age of social media ‘famous for being famous’ is a surefire route to big bucks.
So, over the years, from being regarded as creatures of mild derision and ridicule, to creators of vast affluence and influence, with an enormous agency of their own, the West has seen a 360-degree turn in the way women of privilege have been regarded.
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In Mumbai on the other hand, no self-respecting woman wants to be referred to as a ‘socialite’.
As the editor of a society supplement in the Nineties, it was a constant struggle to refer to society women who possessed wealth, privilege, and a famous surname –but who did little else than enjoy these benefits- in terms that would not appear patronising or make them bristle.
Because, given the city’s overarching work ethic, it was anathema to describe these ladies with the ‘ S’ word. ‘Philanthropist,’ came in handy, as did ‘patron of the arts’ and ‘culturtista’. But very soon, things changed and before one knew it, one did not have to conjure up ‘socially acceptable’ titles from thin air, because soon women were emerging in their own right as leading professionals, business leaders, and powerhouses in every field.
Doctors, lawyers, engineers, entrepreneurs, educationists, nutritionists, wherever one looked, women were commanding positions of power and influence.
Today in Maximum City, women regard themselves and are regarded as equal in every way to their male counterparts; this and the city’s peerless respect for achievement and activity ensures that even the most pampered socialites or ladies who lunch (fashionistas is the current word) will be a multi-tasking individual, most likely juggling her role as wife, mum, hostess with the mostest, careerist and entrepreneur with a hard-won panache. All this is most likely as she works hard at maintaining her fashion model’s figure, her punishing physical regimen, and her social media presence.
I have known women in Mumbai of great privilege, pelf, and position, whose commitment to their careers, kids, families, and responsibilities are exemplary.
Not for them the decorative role of the Tai Tai, or the decadent life of the western socialite, or the fatuous existence of the lady who does naught else but lunches in expensive clothes, or the giddy fashionista caught up in her next fitting or fashion show; as in all things, Mumbai demands more from its denizens-and its women are more than willing to comply –whether they board the 8.11 Virar –Churchgate Fast daily, or fly in and out of the city in their private jet.
So, no Tai Tais for Mumbai for sure.
In fact, given how things are going, how soon before we have to coin a word to describe Mumbai’s exquisitely dressed and coiffed men of leisure, who spend all their time shopping at high-end stores, going to salons for manicures and massages, and their leisurely afternoons at expensive cafes and restaurants, in the company of others like them?
Just Sayin’…